amokarts

Monday September 28 and Tuesday September 29
Yesterday my main creative project was a writing project. I had a meeting scheduled to go over my vision for an arts ministry that I have held for a long time. A person who has been involved a long time in drama came to talk to me, my wife and my friend John about the drama component of the ministry. To prepare for this meeting I did a rewrite on the vision to express it with as much clarity as I could. The meeting sort of turned into an intervention as my wife and John lovingly tried to help me to see that I have a few too many irons in the fire right now to start one more thing and encouraged me to spend some time in prayer and for now to focus on what I do well, which is the visual arts end of things. It does seem to be where I am most gifted. A lot of things came to the forefront. Among others my desperation to see my church grow. It's not really as honorable as it seems though because while I desire with everything in me to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ, part of this is also coming out of fear of what the future holds and some insecurity about my abilities and my seeming insignificance. These are not the things I am supposed to be trusting in and I suppose the reason I share this is so maybe someone else can see that if they wrestle with these feelings they are not alone. Hopefully no one who reads this will be too disappointed to realize I don't have it all together, either. This morning has been pretty depressing and I feel kind of back to square one, trying to trust God with the plan and just live out this day faithfully. in hindsight isn't that where all of us really belong. This morning's piece of creativity is the cover of a short web comic I am drawing to raise awareness about the conditions that still exist in New Orleans and hopefully some funds for my friends at St. Bernard Project and Brethren Disaster Ministries.